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Adult Woman Steals from Child, Faces no Consequences.

Hello, People!

It’s time to start this arduous endeavor of food blogging.

This story begins while I was going downstairs to grab my third round of Ritz crackers. While descending, I ran into my favorite roommate, Jayden! He had an amazing looking egg biscuit in his hands and you could just tell it was made with love and a slight sense of agitation by my mother, our mother, because Jayden is 9 and I’m sure he begged her incessantly for it even though he just ate.

So, after being chased around the house for stealing his biscuit, I realized, I don’t need his food…I need to make my own and document it! And that is how we arrived at this point.

So, without further ado, here is my recipe for a basic egg biscuit:

What you will need:

  • 1 Egg
  • 1 Biscuit (mine was store-bought & made the night before)
  • 1 Slice of cheese (I recommend white American because that is all we had)
  • Cooking spray
  • 1 Source of heat
  • Pan
  • Spatula
  • Optional: Plate
  • Even more optional: Napkin

The Magic:

  1. Take your pan, spray with cooking spray, and place it on the oven. Set to medium temperature.
  2. Pop your biscuit in the microwave for ~15-25 seconds. You are more than welcome to place the biscuit on a napkin or plate before you microwave, but that just isn’t as exciting as possibly getting leftover pasta sauce on your biscuit!
  3. While the biscuit is heating, crack your egg into the pan. If you get a shell in there, leave it be. Consider it a free life lesson! Humans aren’t perfect and neither is your egg.
  4. Contemplate adding some seasoning. Hear the microwave go off and take out the biscuit. Forget about the seasoning.
  5. Once your egg starts to look ~75% done, flip it.
  6. While it continues to cook, place your cheese on top. Continue cooking the egg to your preference.
  7.  Pull apart the biscuit hamburger style by using your superhuman strength. Start thinking of Snapchat captions to entice you tens of followers.
  8. Using your spatula, transfer the cheesy egg from the pan to the biscuit.
  9. WAIT FOR THE EGG TO COOL.
  10. Enjoy!

Review:

The egg sandwich was one of my favorite dishes growing up. However, this variation upon a classic does nothing to excite my sophisticated, culinary palate. Perhaps it was the off-brand biscuit that was used, which provided a baby powder-type aftertaste. Or maybe it was the cooking spay , which was not my friend, Pam, but rather, just another disappointing generic brand.  The only redeemable quality about this biscuit was the cheese-egg mixture. Despite the “texture” added to my meal because of the egg shell, this duo managed to save the dish. The delicious cheese added a milky element that is always welcome. Together with the egg, I was left wanting more long after my last bite.

All in all, I would rate this dish a 5/10. In future incarnations, I will probably leave out the biscuit (unless it was homemade). I also probably swap out the cooking spray and use butter instead. Honestly, you really can’t go wrong with cheese and eggs.

 

 

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